Closed Doors

In the vortex of puzzles and riddles that surrounds us in everyday life, there are few moments of absolute clarity. These are short and fleeting and are nestled between many mazes and are in fact very difficult to discern. But when you do find these moments, life becomes a little more clearer. Have you ever solved a mathematical problem knowing the answer in advance? The difficult question automatically becomes very easy. Our subconsciousness somehow works a little bit faster. But what does that have to do with anything? Have I understood the key to the mysteries of life? Have I unlocked the door of wisdom and pursuit?

Kinda but not quite.

I saw a movie recently while I was on vacation. I will not go into the complexities of it but will say that I didn't enjoy it. It was long, meandering and really didn't seem to have a purpose. Maybe it was the noxious odor born out of the decades that the bricks aged in this crumbling old single screen theatre but this movie seemed to be a metaphor for my life, and that thought depressed me. There was a line in the movie, which in hindsight is perhaps the few moments of it that I actually remember, the line is "unless you love, your life goes by in an instant" or words to that effect. I would like to take that a bit further. I say that unless you have a dream, or a pursuit in life, your lifetime will flash by in an instant.

I think about that and am afraid. What is this dream that I pursue? What is my purpose in life? My goal? Is there One or are there many? Is everything fluid or are some dreams more concrete? Maybe dreams are not meant to be concrete, maybe they are manifestations of each person's frame of mind based on their circumstances. Maybe dreams are never meant to be realized. Maybe life itself is a dream.

These are all questions that I would love to know the answer to. But the answer does not lie in front of me, it is not wrapped in a nice box. It is not apparent. But I believe that the answer is out there for me to know. The answer is out there for me to pursue. In my wanderlust quest for the answer, I will find my dreams and I will discover answer to questions about myself and my dreams. That I believe is the true meaning of life. To open the closed doors of our hearts. This realization was the stroke of genius that I felt I saw. Some might say it was trivial or very obvious. They maybe right. It was not obvious to me. Things never are. But now I have the key, and the closed doors will not stay closed much longer.

Between Here and There

Its not very often that I stop enroute to somewhere during travel. Its not that I don't like it, its just that I get too caught up in the process of travelling that I forget that sometimes the best sights lie about 5 minutes away from the highway.

This cycle was broken last week during my travel to Michigan. Somewhere tucked off the side of the I-90 exists St. Joseph's Park also called as Silver Lake Beach. Time did not permit extracting the full flavor of this location, but what we saw definitely interested us in coming back. This is a beach town and the fact that we stopped here in the dying days of summer seems almost poetic. We ate some hummus and had a Margarita pizza (surprisingly good) and then headed back to the car and continued on our path back home.

Sometime in the future, I would love to return to this quaint town, return and sing an ode to the sunlight and the heat mirages doused by the fountains of the silver lake.

A Little Comfort In Me

Its coming, It's just around the corner, people carry on their lives pretending not to notice it, but you know its coming, and I know its coming. I'm taking about good O'l Fall. Fall has a myriad of emotions attached to it. It is my favorite season. The world looks prettier, people are nicer and there is just an air of comfort wafting inside your house. Speaking of comfort, here is mine. There is nothing that feels better on a fall night than a bowl of thick, creamy tomato soup and a grilled swiss cheese sandwich. Nothing.

On the Road... Again

I live an interesting life, one that contains countless hours of monotone and some hours of somethings which are greatly different from my daily life. I was on the road last week. Travelling once again for work, seeking skills that the higher-ups think I need and I am trying not to construe this as a thinly veiled insult of some sort. There was the reassurance of having fellow travellers with me in the car which meant that whatever this skill was that I lacked, there were others who were right along with me.

After driving for about 5 hours we entered the famed ruins of detroit. Yes, ruins. I have seen similar ones before. Sprawling metropolitan cities which have been abandoned to their decay and vices and the results is a crumbling giant. Dont get me wrong, the city is still beautiful, the architecture, still magnetic, but as I was walking through the shadows of greektown looking at the empty streets, I realized that the best days of this city had passed it by. Whats left is a bunch of people not wanting to believe that. We still managed to survive this, ate at wonderful restaurants and saw possibly the largest french pastry assortment in the united states (a little ironic that we found this in Arab Town). At the end of the week, we left with mixed emotions. Sadness at having to leave a city that we called home albeit for a few days, and relief that we don’t normally call this city…home.

Backyard Visitor

I am one of those fortunate few to live in a fairly large house.  Located in a quiet community, its something that had I not been renting, I would definitely not have been able to afford. The house has multiple floors, a garage, more room than I would ever need and even a backyard. Of course nothing in life ever comes without strings. Having a porch and a backyard and yard space means that someone has to do the unpleasant task of trimming the grass. Well, I dont know who that someone is but that is definitely not me.  On the flip side, having your yard look like an uninhabited jungle does have its benefits. A random visitor decides to take a stroll and check the estate out. Unfortunately, like every traveller, he did not stay for long.

Sunset at 30,000 Feet

Sometimes in life, you see a scene that requires no explanation. The picture probably existed for thousands of centuries, but if you were not privy to that vista, you probably would never have seen it. I have flown all through my life, but for some reason never looked out of the window to watch the setting sun. I don't quite know why. I have been up in the air at the time, but have either been preoccupied with some book or catching up on sleep, reflecting on the events of the day. But, last week I did look out. And the sight was surreal. It made me think of the experiences in life that we pass up. It also made me think about not judging people without knowing all the facts. But mostly it made me think about the calmness of the heavens and the how when the manic craziness of life was drowned out, the world does seem like a beautiful place.

The Weekender

There is nothing more enjoyable than an early (relatively speaking) morning drive on the weekend. The sun barely rising and shining its lukewarm resonance at me while I drive still drowned in last night's sleep. The streets are empty and I barely see a soul or two, fellow early birds stumbling towards their haunts for breakfast, which in my case consists of a warm cup of mocha and maybe a bagel. People like to vacillate between iced coffee and warm coffee based on the iterations of the weather. Not me. For me, the sensation of sipping on warm coffee is one of the purest joys in life, one that does not depend on the weather but only depends on me and my motivation to go out there and seek it.